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“We will see you when everything returns to normal,” is a phrase that I have seen and heard multiple times in the past two months.  As a parent, daughter, teacher, business owner, friend, and sister, I understand the logic and can rationalize why our world has shut down.  I can also rationalize the importance of social distancing and the need to retreat for self-preservation and the good for the collective.   What I have difficulty understanding and accepting is the term, “normal”…what does that mean exactly?  Yes, you could spout out a definition from Merriam-Webster to me but that isn’t what I mean.  In the sense of today’s world, when comparing yesterday, today and the future, what is truly “normal”?  Is it what others tell you it is/should be or is normal what you make for yourself based on where you are mentally?   What happens when the world “opens back up”?  As we become accustomed to isolation, no longer communicating or interacting in person, no more hugs, handshakes, etc.  where will that leave us? How will children understand the importance of social interactions and cues – these are not exactly skills you can learn/acquire on YouTube or TikTok.  

Within weeks of our stay at home time, my five-year-old son has completely come undone because everything that was “normal” to his five-year-old brain is no longer.  The structure of going to school, the schedule of going to the library and the park, the time with his babysitter away from his parents…all his norms disappeared overnight.  This made me think if this is happening to the social and emotional health of a preschooler/kindergartener, how is affecting those of us that are older.    

We are social creatures by nature.  We seek out others for comfort, emotional support, and humor.  We gather together to celebrate and mourn and when the routine of going to social gatherings, work, school, etc. is removed, it makes us lonely.  I am, by nature, someone that thrives in my work.  I love what I do and I have intentionally separated my career from my home life as best as a small business owner can.  Because of the current health crisis we are in, those worlds have collided and I find myself struggling to maintain balance, let alone sanity.  Thus, the hazards of being a psychologist and a musician come up.  How do I remain emotionally healthy and available to my family while thriving in my much loved passion as a teacher and musician?!  Where do I get the socialization I need to complete my mission while still making sure my children complete their class assignments, get dressed, eat and attend to their self care?  How do I maintain these standards when I haven’t worn a pair of pants in weeks and my pajamas have become my “casual wear”.  I pity my neighbors that have become accustomed to seeing me walk my puppy, Ghost, in seven different varieties of plaid PJ ensembles, no makeup, the messiest bun possible topped with sunglasses and flip flops being followed by a five year old in crocs and a green bowler hat.  I’m not sure if they will necessarily wish to survive the pandemic because the zombie apocalypse, a stick welding labrador pup and the leprechaun in charge of Lucky Charms are having a parade 10 times a day.

Now that I have digressed into my personal fashion and existential crisis, let me tell you what is keeping me quasi-sane.  This week, I have discovered a number of local and national musicians, DJs, television personalities and lecturers, that have blown up Facebook, Zoom, YouTube and other platforms to break up the monotony of Thisday, Thatday and Someday to provide much loved entertainment, memories and laughs.  We can listen to new projects or be swept back into nostalgia with classic covers.  You, too, can see the original cast of Hamilton sing on Zoom the opening number of the musical while swooning at the sight of Lin Manuel Miranda in a t-shirt while touring the many vacation spots in your house.  

Social distancing doesn’t mean community distancing and I think the pendulum has swung so far to the right that it is going to make it difficult to return to where we were.  Concerts and other live music events will most likely have to evolve and if so, what will that do to the human experience?   What will be the long term social and psychological ramifications?  I’d like to hear from you and what your experience has been….what have you done while home to find an outlet?  How are you coping and where do you see yourself and your mental health once this pandemic is over and you are free to roam, again.  Tell me in the comments below and let’s share so that we as a community can survive this isolation together!

I didn’t want to get up this morning.  I have been told many times that waking up at the same time every day, regardless of circumstances, helps with coping with stress and gives the person time to consciously decide how they will approach their day albeit positive or negative.  I didn’t get up on time, I ignored the alarm and I didn’t want to get up.  I wasn’t grateful, I wasn’t thinking positive, I just laid there wishing to just stay put.  With isolation comes a loss of time, day, routine, and social interaction.  That in and of itself makes one question reality…what is truly real in life if what is around us is perceived from the inside out.  If that is true, our situation and how we perceive and react to it is based on what we consciously believe.  So, if I want to believe that this situation sucks and that life as I know it is over and I need to eat every donut in the DMV and binge-watch the “Great British Baking Show” (don’t judge me, for all you know, I’m just setting the scene), then I will approach this pandemic with depression, guilt, and 20 extra pounds.  But, that doesn’t have to be my reality – as much as I wished it away, there is a new “normal” and change is threatening.  So in the face of change and threat, I find myself needing the inspiration to improve my mindset and become positive in difficult situations.  So what has become the magic elixir for dire times…music.

Yeah, yeah, I hear the mutters of, “how can music change the fact that we are shuttered in our homes, that we can’t see friends and family, go to restaurants and shopping, we are not working and, well, the fact that toilet paper has become a luxury and we might be resorting to lettuce in the bathroom in the coming days?”  Well, music can change your attitude, music can improve your mood, music can shift your focus.  I have found myself listening to popular music again and having daily dance parties with my children, something I haven’t taken the time to do in years.  I am now writing music again and loving it.  I have started relearning Chopin’s Raindrop Prelude and falling in love with the Romantic Period.  I am now learning the ukulele and guitar to become more proficient and to learn a new skill and relieve stress.  

This change of scenery, this change in the world where we have been forced to look inward is giving us all the opportunity to grow as individuals in so many ways.  This has given us our time back, time we were using for commuting back and forth and stretching ourselves through overbooked schedules.  This has provided us time to be more present in the moment, how you choose to be “present”, whether it is finding the positive and being grateful or looking through a negative lens is completely your choice.  I choose to filter out the noise of the daily news and press conferences and listen to music:  classicial, rock, jazz, pop…and even country (again, don’t judge me, not one of my favorites).  Each song has its own story that can remind us of pleasant memories or hopes that we have for our futures.  

Like all storms, this pandemic will pass.  It is up to you how you weather the storm and what type of person you will be on the other side.  Was the social isolation a motivator to improve your life and relationships or will it be a dark memory that will haunt you?  I hope you chose the former rather than the latter.  

Do these words move you?  If so, what music are you listening to?  What is your favorite song that you relate to?  Tell me in the comments below so we can create an ongoing playlist that might just change the world!

Music is for everyone, regardless of age and ability.  Interested in learning an instrument, including using your internal one?  Then email me at Info@GarrettMusicAcademy.com to sign up with the Garrett Music Academy for private, online music lessons from the comfort of your home.